Today we are going to take a look on the bright side of the crypto world, and we analyze the life stages of the typical cryptocurrency user from an unusual perspective. It means that we are going to describe the whole system with funny memes, stories and anecdotes found in the waste and deep ocean of the internet.
The story begins
Let’s see, how the things start with the rookies. As an example, we selected a young 26 years old college student Billy, who is a bit lazy, so his academic achievements are not exceptional, and he also dislikes manual work, so he is always short of the pocket money.
Everybody felt the excitement when he first read about the bitcoin. The usual stories are about the millionaires who made a fortune only in a couple months with a few hundred dollars investment, and they became the rock stars of the crypto world. These stories show us the pictures like:
The interviews with these self-made millionaires always explain, how they decided to buy their first bitcoin, and what kind of advice they can give for the newcomers.
After a thorough research on the internet, which usually takes 15 to 25 minutes our rookie makes a life changing decision. Billy selects an online wallet, which can be set in 5 minutes, and he buys the first bitcoin for 10 bucks.
After Billy became a happy owner of 0.0012 BTC, his eyes are glued to the live charts of the bitcoin price on Coinmixed. He refreshes his browser every 5 seconds, and he calculates his increasing profit continuously.
His life is changed for sure, his mind is focused on the next steps, which keeps him awake the whole night.
The first week goes off fast, Billy is totally sucked in by crypto staff, he reads everything available about blockchain, crypto wallets, exchanges and various investment strategies.
Billy learns the meaning of word hodler, which alone is a really funny story. The term HODL originated in 2013 with a post to the bitcoin talk forum. “In the 24 hours to 10:00 a.m. UTC, Dec. the price of bitcoin fell 39%, from $716 to $438, according to CoinDesk’s bitcoin price index.
At 10:03 a.m. on Dec. 18, GameKyuubi an user posted “I AM HODLING,” a drunk, semi-coherent, typo-laden rant about his poor trading skills and determination to simply hold his bitcoin from that point on. “I type d that tyitle twice because I knew it was wrong the first time. Still wrong. w/e,” he wrote in reference to the now-famous misspelling of “holding.” “WHY AM I HOLDING? I’LL TELL YOU WHY,” he continued. “It’s because I’m a bad trader and I KNOW I’M A BAD TRADER.”
The next chapter
Two weeks into the cryptocurrency journey, Billy feels he is the lucky one. The prices go up, so he invests more and more money from his saving account. Finally, he decides to leave his part-time job at the local postal office.
Because we are in the middle of a bull market, the Bitcoin price climb higher and higher.
Billy shares his success with his friends, and he convinces more and more people to invest into the Bitcoin, Litecoin, Ethereum and other stablecoins. Billy turns himself into a cryptocurrency preacher, he starts to write blog posts about the investment strategy, he frequently shares several analysis about the new coins and ICOs.
He enjoys the meetups and different workshops in the local community, he becomes a real rising star. More and more sexy girls learn that Billy makes lot of money from some digital currency, so Billy dates attractive girls almost every night.
As a next phase in his famous crypto career, Billy makes an entrepreneur move. He invests all his profit made from the Bitcoin trading into a new cryptocurrency mining hardware. He purchases the brand new ASIC miners, and he sets up his mining farm in the back of his parent’s garage. But he learns that mining is not an easy job.
After the first month Billy’s dad almost gets a heart attack, when he receives the invoice from the local electricity provider.
After the initial struggles Billy overcomes the pitfalls, and his small mining farm makes him a reasonable profit.
The rising star
Billy decides to open a small cryptocurrency investment firm, and he advises local customers about the cryptocurrency investments.
As the main driver, he tells his clients, he is in not to make money, but he is interested in the blockchain technology, and he will revolutionize the whole financial industry.
One afternoon his smartphone rings, Billy picks up the call, the chief executive of JPMorgan, Jamie Dimon calls him. He offers to acquire his small boutique firm for 1 million dollar, and Dimon offers him to join the executive branch of the bank, and promotes him to lead the newly established blockchain division.
Billy again makes the smart move, and at the age of 29 he becomes the youngest executive in the history of the investment banking in USA. He hires blockchain architects, developers, traders, and he builds up a very effective group of people, who are working hard on the newly announced coin, which aims to reshape the whole payment industry around the world.
At the age of 37 Billy retires from the bank after he made tones of money, and heavily invested in the new ICOs, shitcoins and other blockchain instruments.
However, the bear market dominates the next year, and prices declines from to month.
Billy lost a huge portion of his investment, and he feels terrible about it. He cannot maintain his extravagant lifestyle, and he is forced to sell his penthouse in the Manhattan near to Central Park.
Billy moves back to the boring city of Minneapolis, where he meets with his old buddy, who is a mechanical engineer at the NASA. After they drunk a half dozen bottles of beer, Billy figures out how to bring back the success.
Finally he decides to risk everything, and he puts all his saving money into the Cryptopia exchange, and he purchases again a huge chunk from the Bitcoin.
And there you go again…Sorry folks, do not consider it as an investment advise, if you aren’t a hodler, the trade responsibly. Bitcoin WILL land on the Moon.